Service

Service.

I love service.

I am a sadist. During sex, I switch. I enjoy bottoming for that as well as for the occasional flogging or what-have-you, usually a thuddy implement. I'm primarily a top. I'm also a dominant.

I used to find dominance to be absolutely exhausting.

To stay in the frame of mind where I am the Master, I must be in control, I must be strict and cruel and creative and completely in charge, as well as kind and merciful and loving is hard for me. I prefer to be a creative sadist. I'm very hands on and when it comes to more emotional or mental scenes, I tend to get tired pretty quickly and revert to my sadistic self, since I'm a more physical person.

Which I'm sure is a bit frustrating for my boy, who is not only a wonderfully tough maso (our pet name for masochists) but also very submissive. He needs submission to be able to get himself together somedays. Just like we both need a good kicking-the-shit-out-of-him scene when we haven't played for awhile. Most kinksters will agree it's a major stress-relief.

So, while I find dominance to be exhausting, especially when I was first stepping into the role (back when I had no idea what a sadist even was) I find the idea of service to be totally liberating. I can focus on my needs and without putting much creative thought into it, this fulfills the needs of my submissive. I can ask for food, drink, massage, attention. Even me saying 'pet meeee!' is demanding a bit of service, albeit in the whiniest voice possible.

I've asked for essays, for writing, for art, for pedicures. I've asked for much more creative things, too, but I find the little things are easiest to do and they add into bigger things.

The big D/s scenes are more fun this way, though we haven't done one in awhile. I find it's easier if I break it down into little things. Boot worship, maybe throw in some sadism there, add a bit of body worship, orgasm control, bondage...

I admit, I used to panic when I stepped into my D/s role. My brain would immediately rush from idea to idea and the scene would turn into a jumble. I'd threaten him with certain things and never follow through. I'd forget what I was doing and confuse him completely when I asked for several things at once. Note to self (and other D-types who have this problem); be clear when you're instructing someone. They can't read your mind and they really want to make you happy.

It's taken some time, but now that we're here, I find that I really enjoy having a butler as much as I enjoy having a maso. I love having him 'run the household'. Though a lot of people on the outside of our relationship have commented on how T seems to run everything and be in charge, the duty of a butler is to keep everything running and to make sure their master doesn't have to.

And really, I'd be awful at taking care of a wine cellar (not that we have one).

Not everyone who is submissive is good at service, or wants to be. It takes dedication, love, a stubborn perfectionism and eye for detail. I only wish I could be more the Master my boy deserves. <3

Double caning

Two couples enjoy some caning together. I love that the ladies are wound up for some dramatic strikes and I love the masochist in the front. Look at that pose! He's begging for more, ass in the air, pushed back as far as he can go so she has better access. His mouth is open in a yell of some kind (probably happy, judging by the position) and his cock is hard.

Even though I'm not a fan of tops wearing heels and corsets, I do like the naked top and I really enjoy this piece.

From Otto's Spanking Art.

Cropping

A quick photo for the blog before dinner. Have a pretty from i Honor Her.

Is he trying to cover his butt to protect it or is he spreading his cheeks to give her access to what she wants?

He's tied up

This is the best 'he's tied up at the moment' jokes I've ever seen. Most of them just leave me meh, but this one... hahah. Awesome.

nipple twisting

I love this picture. The top has a bit of a goofy grin going on and the expression the bottom has... wonderful. Grabbing a handful of skin (though I prefer my boy's balls) and twisting like that makes me happy.

I guess I'm just an old fashioned sadist at heart. :)

backhand

Purrr. A little backhand to the face and a pretty young lady being grabbed by the hair.

From David's Rope.

breakfast and foot worship

This reminds me of the vacation my boy and I took just last week... we stayed in a lovely Bed and Breakfast with flowery things everywhere and they delivered our food to us on a beautiful tray... haha.

Lovely boy. I wonder what implement she has on the table there? A crop?

From Other World Kingdom.

a slap to the face

Oh Sardax. You're wonderful :)

A domme

I often find this idea amongst primarily online male submissives; I want a domme. Any domme.

I present as a woman in my community, butch though I am, just because it's easier than talking to people about my gender and having to explain something that doesn't effect them anyway. So, when people contact me online, though my gender is not stated on certain profiles, they contact me as if I am a female dominant. Both of these things are inaccurate, as I'm a sadist with a few dominant leanings, but I generally just leave it at 'I'm a sadist'.

When male submissives (most of whom I have never met in public, and probably will never meet in public due to their belief that someone will see them with kinky people and just know that they are with kinky people, no matter how vanilla we look) approach me, oftentimes I will ask them what they are looking for in a dominant. The idea that I get from this reminds me of this picture. They want the leather and latex, the 'dominant attitude' and sex appeal of being controlled and sexually used by a powerful, stereotypically beautiful woman.

And so, when they figure out that I am a person, who does not fit the tailored fantasy clothes they have ready for their ideal domme, they back away. They stop messaging. They tell me I am not a real dominant. They accuse me of being a man. They accuse me of being a bitch, a tease, etc, etc. And I am not the only one who gets these messages.

I want a domme. Any domme will do.

As long as she can fit in my fantasy bubble of what a domme is and how she will make me happy.

Art from Dominance and submission.

blissful pain

I think my favorite thing about this picture is the sadist's drawers. SO CUTE.

More seriously, though they're obviously dressed up for this photo, their pose is awesome and I love how the sadist is gripping her masochist by the hair. The masochist holding her hair right alongside the sadist is exactly what my pet does when I'm just a bit too rough.

From Dominance and submission.

Picture removed

Picture removed

On being available

As one of the few sadists who is out and active in my kink community, I get a lot of offers for play. I think it may also have something to do with the fact that I'm fairly non-threatening, respectful and I do want people to get some sort of play out of parties.

However, I've been approached so many times for play at parties that my boy has started to feel as if the other people I play with are hedging in on our time. It isn't the fact that I'm playing with other people that's causing the unhappy feelings, so much as the constant pressure from a community that is full of unowned bottoms and people who don't get to do much bottoming in their relationships.

I'm aware that no one ever means to put that pressure on a sadist or the sadist's spouse/partner/masochist, but with a large group of people who look at me with doe eyes and ask 'so, have any plans for the next party?' well, it gets to be a bit much. Yes, there are plenty of people who approach me with the utmost respect, who give me time before a party, who realize that my partner comes first, but it's still a pressure.

This isn't the first time I've heard of a top getting harassed by bottoms. Apparently it's fairly common for communities to be bottom-heavy (tee-hee). I won't let it keep me from the community, but it has changed my priorities. At first I tried to accommodate them, but it put a strain on my pet and I, so now I've decided that I won't be playing with others for some time. I may eventually play with a few, who are close friends and who approach me with my partner there, but nothing for now. It just seems best to relieve the pressure completely.

Carrion will post about this eventually too.

On being ‘born a dominant’

A lot of people seem to have this notion that people are born dominant. This applies to submissives, masochists, sadists and switches, etc, but for the sake of simplicity of writing, I’ll stick to dominants. Though I believe that some people are born with certain tendencies, I do not believe anyone to be a dominant born.

Eg; I am born. I have a proclivity towards taking the top role during kink. However, due to society’s view on kink and never educating myself about it, I never take the opportunity to try this role or to learn anything about kink, D/s or topping. Am I a top?

I am born. I have an interest in receiving pain. Due to it being taboo and my belief that it is wrong, I never indulge myself. I never truly enjoy pain, as any enjoyment I receive leaves me with a sense of guilt. Am I a masochist?

I believe that someone has to practice to learn this sort of role. It’s like saying that you’re a musician. You’ve only ever touched an instrument once, but you know you like it. No one has ever enjoyed hearing you play, but you were born a musician. If you’ve never played with anyone and never tried to learn more or to better yourself as a dominant, how can you call yourself a dominant anymore than that musician can call themselves a musician?

It also goes both ways, though. You can learn all the skills and technique you like, but if you don’t truly enjoy what you’re doing, why bother?

Bettering yourself as a dominant is certainly possible. It’s just like learning to be a better person. You can learn to be a dominant and then you can learn to be an amazing dominant. I think anyone with an interest in becoming something can be great at it. The fact that they’re interested combined with the fact that they practice their interest makes them that person. I am interested in being a dominant and I read about dominance, talk to other dominants and practice D/s with my submissive. That makes me a dominant. But if you only have the interest, or only have the practice, I don’t think it’s the same.

Please remember that this is my opinion, but this is what I think of these people;

-I have the interest, but don’t have the practice yet. I’m new/curious and haven’t started learning yet. That doesn’t make me a dominant, but I can become one.

-I have the skill, but I don’t really care for this role. It may have been an experiment or me trying to please a submissive partner. I am not a dominant.

-I have the interest, but I will never practice this role for whatever reasons. I will never be a dominant unless I change my mind.

-I have the interest and I practice it! I am a dominant.

Scored

From Depraved Girls.

just your everyday visit

I found this picture on Red Rump, but it's originally from nu-westleda.

I get so much joy from seeing people caning whilst wearing sweaters! Is that strange? :D

Due attention and care

Dear everyone,

I feel like poo today.

Here, have a spanking from Otto.

I know a good spanking always makes me feel better. :)

And so I made my own!

I keep stumbling onto this picture - though I'm pretty sure the original source is Male submission secrets. I loved it, so I decided to make a few of my own based on the bdsm stereotypes I run into the most. I didn't make all of them (that would have taken all night!) but I think more people should make these.

And of course, some of them would be the exact opposite of what I made. Some people only want kink to mean kinky sex. It's different for everyone, which is one of the biggest things to consider when you're talking to other people who live under the giant umbrella term that is kink.

 Seriously. I've had people ask me if I'm a serial killer. :(

 I always feel so sorry for female submissives when people pull this shit on them. Or when I told people I was a woman into bdsm. This was pretty much immediately what popped up.

Yep.

Justine

A picture from the movie Justine. I know I've seen this movie, but I honesty don't remember much about it. I just thought the picture was interesting. Is De Sade on top and spanking her? Is he dressed as a display of his dominance/control of the situation? Is she on top and getting a massage from her dutiful butler? I'm under the impression that De Sade was more of a switch than simply a sadist, though from his grip on her ass, I'm willing to bet he's spanking her.

Of course I can get the answers to my questions if I watch the movie, but I kind of prefer it this way.

A well deserved spanking

An awesome illustration from Sardax.

Did you know that the shape you make with your hand when you're spanking changes the sensation for your bottom? If you spank, try making different shapes. Cup your hand or keep it flat. Also, you can use the palm or the back of your hand. My boy tends to prefer the back of the hand, and I find it easier on my hand.

Hmm, is he being punished or rewarded?

stockings and a suit

A good red butt, from Fetish 4. I like the fact the top is in a suit. They got dressed up for a night out together, came home and had a little play before bed. That's my idea of a great night. Though, often minus the whole leaving the house thing. That's totally over-rated.

*hermit*