I present as a woman in my community, butch though I am, just because it's easier than talking to people about my gender and having to explain something that doesn't effect them anyway. So, when people contact me online, though my gender is not stated on certain profiles, they contact me as if I am a female dominant. Both of these things are inaccurate, as I'm a sadist with a few dominant leanings, but I generally just leave it at 'I'm a sadist'.
When male submissives (most of whom I have never met in public, and probably will never meet in public due to their belief that someone will see them with kinky people and just know that they are with kinky people, no matter how vanilla we look) approach me, oftentimes I will ask them what they are looking for in a dominant. The idea that I get from this reminds me of this picture. They want the leather and latex, the 'dominant attitude' and sex appeal of being controlled and sexually used by a powerful, stereotypically beautiful woman.
And so, when they figure out that I am a person, who does not fit the tailored fantasy clothes they have ready for their ideal domme, they back away. They stop messaging. They tell me I am not a real dominant. They accuse me of being a man. They accuse me of being a bitch, a tease, etc, etc. And I am not the only one who gets these messages.
I want a domme. Any domme will do.
As long as she can fit in my fantasy bubble of what a domme is and how she will make me happy.
Art from Dominance and submission.
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