A different cock tonight

Is this supposed to be humiliation play? Because I don't know if I see it as humiliating. Just obedience and servitude. If that's what your top wants... well, he should do it. He shouldn't feel inadequate, since he's obeying and doing as he's told.

This is not humiliating. He's just a good boy.

most common fantasies

These are adorable! I'm really fond of a lot of Humon's art, there's a lot of creativity, different body sizes, kink and exploration of different sexualities. I don't think this is the entire comic, just the first parts, but I highly suggest looking up more of Humon's work.


Now for my take on each of these kinks:

Objectification
As anyone who read my blog with any regularity should know, I love this. Objectification is beautiful, often artistic and it makes a person into a stunning statue or work of art. As far as I'm concerned, you can't go wrong.

Still, I always worry that my boy will get bored of being a footrest while I read. It never seems to happen though. :)

Chastity
I'm not really interested in chastity myself, since sex is an integral part of me and my relationship. I understand not having it once in awhile because then everything seems even more amazing when you finally do... but we tried a chastity device and not only do they not work very well for female-bodied people, but they're cumbersome and hard to get off when your pet really has to pee.

I can see why people are into it, but I'd much rather control someone by saying 'no, you don't have permission to touch yourself' rather than buckling them into this contraption. I'd want them to have some self-control.

Forced bisexuality
Any kink with the word 'forced' in it tends to bother me a little. I know that most of the time, the idea of being forced into something is erotic and it's just roleplay, but I know if I was a gay submissive and someone tried to do forced bisexuality with me, that'd be a red immediately, and we'd have to have a serious talk.

Still, allowing someone to experiment with their urges for the same or opposite sex is wonderful, as long as all parties are consenting.

Forced feminization
There's been a lot of talk about this one lately. Mostly, people see this as humiliating. Which drives me up the wall. There is nothing humiliating about being dressed as a woman. What should really be called humiliating is that generally those who are into forced feminization are into being dressed up in a very provocative way. I know if someone dressed me up that way, I'd be pissed off.

The idea that crossdressers see women as sluts bothers me. But I've never actually met a crossdresser that can accurately describe what it is that they want and what they get out of this.

I think it shouldn't be called crossdressing. It should be called slut-dressing or something. There's nothing wrong with being a slut, but not all women are and it's not very flattering to say 'I'm dressing as a woman' when you're dressing as a percentage of women.

I do understand the appeal of dressing your play partner up like a slut, calling them names, getting them to play a role they never play in public. However, it isn't a reflection on all women.

Sometimes I wonder if I just over think these things because of who I live with and am mentored by.

Any crossdressers/sissies/those into feminization reading this have an opinion?

Anyway, go check out Humon for some awesome art.

Doms don't cry

Mainstream femdom plays into the notion that female dominants are invulnerable to emotion, with images of cold ice-queens who endlessly berate their submissives, referring to them as worthless or pathetic.  I will never understand this.  Why bother owning something worthless?  If he’s so pathetic, why are you playing with him?

And then, of course, there’s withholding sex as a punishment.  This, too, I do not understand.  Why withhold sex?  I wouldn’t want to withhold sex.  I love sex.  Not that I don’t enjoy chastity play, but I prefer to think of it as putting my favorite toy away when I’m not using it.  Perhaps most femdoms are, in fact, ice-queens with no sex drive but who have an endless drive for inflicting cruelty and degradation.  But I suspect not.  I suspect more of them are like me.

I am a dominant woman.  I am not invulnerable to desire.  On the contrary, I am super-susceptible to desire.  My desire controls me.  My desire incites me to control others.  The key is not about not having power–but about taking that power away.  Not giving up control, but the loss of control caused by another.  I don’t want someone who is always submissive, without any input from another–I want my dominance to be the key that unlocks the feeling of surrender inside of them.  I don’t want someone who is worthless.  I don’t want someone pathetic. I want someone valuable.  I refuse to devalue submission, or the people that submit to me.  It’s not that I’m better than they are or that my desires are worth more.  It’s just that my  desires are…more important.

I am a dominant woman.  I’m not perfect.  I don’t think of myself as perfect.  I don’t think I am better than anyone else.  I don’t have super high self-esteem.  I do have healthy self-esteem, most of the time.  But above all, I hold myself in high esteem.

I’ve seen the term “slaveheart”–the idea that a slave is someone who has a heart that longs to be owned by another.  Slavehearts are often depicted as fragile and vulnerable.  But there is no counterpart for dominants, as though our feelings don’t matter, as if our hearts can’t get broken.  So I am proposing a corollary term for a dominant: a dominant spirit.  A spirit that yearns to possess and overthrow.  A spirit that is passionate and loving and fierce and tender.

As I walk this path, as I make this journey (although at times I loathe the trite comparison between BDSM exploration and a journey) I see the insecurities in my heart like cracks on the sidewalk.  Thus far, I have a much better idea of who I am and what I want than I did a few years ago.  For that, I am grateful.  But sometimes it makes me feel hopeless because what I want seems so unattainable.  The further I walk on this path, the more cracks I see in the pavement.

I am a dominant woman.  I am not invulnerable to desire.  I am not invulnerable to loneliness.  Or heartbreak.

Written by Professor Chaos.

under lock and key

Hey everyone, more close ups of genitals! *cheering in the distance*

This photo's from Mr Turma.