A couple

Today, I stumbled upon Daddy's Dirty Blonde.

Haaaa...

Seriously, look through their pictures. This scarification turns out beautifully and she wears it very well. Her daddy doesn't appear in many photos, but the fact that they took a photo of him disinfecting, wearing gloves and holding her so gently makes me so happy.

They have pictures of their studio, which is not only gorgeous, but obviously set up for frequent and imaginative play. Not only this, but all the pictures are really artistic and absolutely stunning.  They have some great bondage too...

LOOK AT THIS AND DROOL.

Not only is the photo beautiful, soft skin, nipple piercings, purple rope... but the bondage is asymmetrical! Does anyone remember me fetishizing asymmetrical bondage earlier? It's been awhile! I don't find this sort of asymmetry very often.

Also, she's adorable and has a strap on. :)

This blog makes me happy. Everyone should be happy and read blogs about sweet and creative bdsm couples in love.

:)

My take on the BDSM in Girls with Slingshots II

I am very happy with the conclusion of this chapter of GWS. She doesn't hit him once, she just puts him in the position and lets his imagination take him where it will (as well as yelling at him). 

 He safewords...

 And she does some decent aftercare, even though they didn't 'play' in a way that most people would consider playing. She sits him down, gives him a blanket and some comfort... it's awesome. Yay for aftercare being shown in art as well as in a comic! Hats off to Danielle Corsetto!

One little quirk here, Clarice is looking for someone who enjoys being dominated as well as a masochist. Though I don't generally label people, she's a fictional character so she can't take offense, so I'll go for it. I'd say that Clarice is more of a sadist than a dominant. Even her domination in what we do see of her scenes is very sadistic and bent on humiliation and pain rather than simple control.

Anyhow, I'm happy and I'm glad I got to rant about random specific things.

I really don't pity Tucker. But I do pity Clarice! I know several dominant women who find it impossible to find a partner who's actually up to their standards, not just as a submissive or masochist, but as a human being. *lesigh*

Now, go check out Girls With Slingshots!

Aftercare

A sadist cradles and kisses her masochist after some decorative cutting.  A sweet picture of aftercare. There's thousands of pictures and photos of bdsm (especially bondage), but there are so few pictures of aftercare. I tend to really treasure them. This one especially is awesome.

From Cactuar Tamer.

bells

I found a new idea (new to me, at least) sometime last week and I've been sitting on it for awhile, finding what I needed and teasing my sub with hints and such. I had to purchase a few things, but it was very cheap.

I needed sewing needles, the thinnest I could find with a very thin eye, strong but thin thread and several different sizes of little bronze bells.

I also needed disinfectant and I had my first aid kit handy just in case, as well as my Sharps container for any needles that I threw away.

First I got T to dance for me, naked. I suggested that perhaps she wasn't... jingly enough. 

I got her to lay down on a blanket that we have for scenes, that has seen many different stains; wax, blood, all that good stuff. Heh. I gave her a pillow and made her comfy. I only told her then what I had planned. She'd already guessed that I was going to pierce her, but she had no idea what I wanted beyond that.

So I pierced her straight through with threaded sewing needles, drawing the thread through. It was really hard, actually, to push the needle all the way through, much harder than I had expected. Especially because the needles were so thin that they were sharp at both ends and pushing them through hurt my fingers. (She was the one getting pierced, but I was the one saying 'ouch!') I've only ever pierced her with needles that don't go all the way through, that have a cap at one end, so this was new for both of us.

Once the needle itself was through, she went wild when I pulled on the thread that was now going through her skin. Most of them were almost perfect too.happy sigh I've been learning the right depths to pierce at. When I first got my needles, I pierced her so they were barely under the skin. I went too deep only once (the needles we have are hollow, and the cap filled with blood when I went to deep... it looked wonderful) but by now I am much more confident about piercing.

She was great, telling me where she was too sensitive (we tried her shoulders but she's too tense) and asking me for water and snuggles when she needed them. She was dizzy twice, but since she was laying down it wasn't a problem. I actually had her vomit once from piercing, when we did it standing up a few months ago. I think she might have also been sick, but <.< I'm sure the piercing didn't help how she was feeling, since it tends to make her a bit lightheaded.

Anyways I should probably stop with the suspense. We threaded her so that she had threads hanging from her wrists, her breasts, through her bellybutton, four in the hips and one below her navel. I tied bells to all the threads and made her dance for me again.

And it was lovely.

We left them in for maybe an hour before I cut the threads and pulled them out of her. There was a tiny bit of blood, but I disinfected her and there was no need for bandages. She'll have some awkward marks on his wrists, but we have a kitten to blame it on. They could be mistaken for puffy bite-marks. <.<

I plan on doing variations of this soon. I still have many needles and I've fallen in love with piercing. It just makes me so happy, like a good spanking or playing with knives. Almost as relaxing as a long bath ;)

I feel so satisfied that the idea worked. I was so worried that it wouldn't.

Ahhhh happy sigh

I wrote this about 2 years ago, after a wonderful scene that I have been dying to retry. I have more interesting piercing ideas, I just haven't done them yet!  This is my reminder to myself :)

Affection

I love how tender and protective this picture is. I'm not sure if this is pet play, age play, M/s, whatever. That's kind of what I like about it. He can be tender and she can be soft and delicate and in need of love and care, no matter what roles they take, no matter who they are.

A gorgeous picture from the naughty bibliophile.

Subspace

An old post from my Livejournal, discussing subspace - not written by me, but informative

Subspace has another meaning which is considerably more difficult to define, especially for those who have never been there. The best way I know how to describe it is that it is like a spiritually transcendent state of complete and overwhelming bliss, the aftereffects of which can last for hours and even days. I have heard it referred to as "a spiritual high." While this is happening, the submissive/bottom is often said to be flying. It is similar to, but exponentially more intense and powerful than, what is often called "runner’s high."


There are deeper reasons why the variety is so diverse. A whipping scene will often start off very lightly, with the top using a small whip to sensitize the bottom and get them into the rhythm of the scene, switching to heavier and heavier whips as the bottom gets deeper and deeper , more and more receptive to additional sensation.

This word we use to describe the psychological (mental) and phsysical state
the submissive can - but does not (always) have to - reach as a result of
BDSM interaction. On the Internet especially you will a lot of stories and
articles about "subspace". Most of these unfortunately got it deadwrong.
This leads to a lot of confusion. For example "subspace" and orgasm are
often mixed up.

One thing we do know: having an orgasm while in "subspace" is biologically
next to impossible! yeah...after the first whipping, I just really wasn't 'aroused' in the usual sense...but I felt really bad about that, so I tried, but I kept getting distracted:

Now is where we can see the fundamental differences between "subspace" and
other BDSM-experiences (driven by other motives). If and when the body
decides not to go for the orgasm, but instead to go for "subspace" we are
getting to the "deer in the headlights". And also the point where the dam
breaks.

If endorphins production continues - remember, we still do not know exactly
why - trance and light forms of hallucination occur. THAT is "subspace"!

Someone "in subspace" is easy to recognise from the outside. They are no
longer able to drive a car, or even a bike. They seem silent, absentminded,
slow responding, uninterested. In other words "not really here". That again
is not the same as the warm, glowy, dreamy feeling after an orgasm. Somebody
"in subspace" is "not on this planet", so to speak.

"Subspace" is dangerous in some ways. People "in subspace" have very
different levels of perception and awareness. They will see a traffic light
as interesting colors that changes all the time. They do NOT see it as a
warning signal. To them, a house is a fascinating stack of bricks with
intriguing patterns - NOT something people actually live in. If you would
slit the throat of someone "in subspace" they'd probably tell you they'd
consider that an interesting and fascinating experience. They do NOT
recognise the life threatening situation. Someone "in subspace" is
INTOXICATED! Intoxicated as in: under influence of drugs.


"Subspace" is a form of trance. Trance in its essence is a state of being,
different from your "normal" state of being. During trance your mind
excludes most of its input and concentrates on just one or only very few
impulses, completely disregarding all others. There are many ways in which a
trance can be induced. Prolongued dancing for example, or hunger, prolonged
physical activity. Hypothermia, recreational drugs, high fever, lack of
nutrition, dehydration AND BDSM-activity all can induce trance. Just like
repeated physical activity

"Subspace" can last for anything from several hours to several days. For the
duration of "subspace" reflexes slow down severely (this is the
result of the slightly intoxicating effects of enkephalins on the cortex)
and much of normal, everyday logic no longer works. Someone in
subspace cannot make responsible, consensual decisions.

As said, subspace is easy to spot from the outside. Pupils widen, responses
slow down, appear illogical or simply do not occur. Food and
sustenance is no longer important, people hear you, but do not understand
you, they cannot find the right words and some submissives
even stop breathing temporarily. Someone "in subspace" - as far as physical
behavior and signals are concerned - is very similar to
someone, under the influence of recreational drugs. The trance itself is
important to them, feeds them and leads them. Nothing else matters and
that - for example - includes sexual arousal. Colours, sounds, scents are
individual, seemingly incoherent experiences. if you have never been
here, you haven't been "in subpace" (yet). And that's fine. it is just that
"subspace" is very different from everything else.

Aftercare

Art by Raphaella.

Aftercare

Affectionate care and attention following any type of traumatic or mentally challenging event. D/s relationships are engaged with a passion and intensity that are often so strong that they can strip away at the barriers and defenses that we normally use to protect ourselves from exactly those extremes. To 'feel' that intensity means that we are not 'as safe'. To some extent we have stepped across our own thresholds of security and exposed some or all parts of our inner selves to the scrutiny and possible damage of others.

Scening can or may be seen as a compromise between what the submissive is seeking or desiring and how close to achieving those desires the dominant's own fears will allow them to go. This is a stretching in both directions. Both the dominant and the submissive often venture into areas they have never gone before. These areas can test their inner strength and resolve, their will and compassion. To retain personal integrity, or a belief in ourselves, we have to stay within the codes that we live by and believe in. In learning about ourselves we often test these codes to see if they are indeed our codes or codes we have simply adopted by rote at some point along the way.


The road to emerging as a dominant or submissive is filled with these kinds of moral and ethical choices and the contradictions and apparent paradoxes that they present. Reconciling these contradictions and forming true choices of who we are and what lines are inviolate within the self is a process that takes years and perhaps the entirety of our lives to discover fully.


When we expose ourselves to another human being, there is an expressed obligation by both people to refrain from injury or damage, offer solace, nurturing and care until that sense of exposure recedes. We call this period of time 'Aftercare'. Most often we associate this term with the time frame immediately following a scene. However, this term is equally applicable at many other points and times and many times is not associated with BDSM at all. Essentially it is an understood promise that should exist prior to anyone agreeing to engage in any type of relationship. Often it is overlooked or ignored as an 'incidental'. The concentration or focus of many people appears to be on the action events such as any and all forms of BDSM or sexual interaction that may and in many cases will occur as part of the relationship. Minimizing the importance of aftercare is a mistake. Aftercare is a period of necessary recovery. This is a fundamental recovery of the self into a form competent and 'safe' to independently interact with other people.


Some aspects of BDSM trigger responses much like intoxication. The ability of the brain to rationalize or make important or serious decisions may be seriously impaired for a substantial period of time after an event or scene. Scening can and sometimes does summon up long hidden memories, feelings, emotions and traumas that the individual has kept safe behind the barrier wall or mental defense system that during a scene may suddenly no longer exist. We maintain these walls through diverting a portion of our mental energy to them at all times. In periods of low stress this constant trickle of energy is negligible. In periods of high mental activity, the brain often diverts energy towards activities which take precedence. Managing a BDSM scene will often become an activity of such precedencial choice. When this occurs the brain is no longer sustaining the wall and it may simply vanish, exposing what is behind it.


We maintain personal barriers and walls of defense to protect ourselves from things we know but perhaps have serious trouble dealing with. An example of this would be an automobile accident. Some portion of the brain does 'know' and fully experienced all that occurred during the accident or 'event'. The extremes of the experience may be so great that a self protective determining factor inside the brain decides that it is 'unhealthy' for the cognizant areas of the brain to experience this event through memory loops over and over again. At that point this determining factor selectively places this event in a 'safe area' or behind one of the brains natural mental barriers or walls.


Should one of these 'events' become exposed then the individual may re-experience the event. It is vital to remember that these hidden events were considered to be potentially damaging when the real event occurred so much so that the brain took active steps to protect the individual from them. Supporting and assuring the person who has re-experienced one of these events that they are 'safe' is profoundly important. The new 'information' may be of a nature that they do have great difficulty coping with it and in some cases they may need good professional assistance from a qualified therapist.


Normal aftercare occurring without such an exposure is often the simple nurturing of one human to another. The support and protection of and from revealed intimacies and aiding and assisting in rebuilding the former protective walls, barriers or defenses. These protective mental measures appear to rebuild naturally as a simple part of how the brain functions and manages over a period of time. That time frame will vary with the individual and with the intensity of the experience itself. Aftercare in its most simple form is just being there with your partner for a sufficient time period that they feel safe and no longer feel the need to cling to you. It is equally important to recognize that aftercare is for both the Dominant and the submissive. If either person leaves too soon then their partner may feel abandonment or loss far exceeding the apparent parameters of the interaction.


It is also important to recognize that aftercare may be a serious factor when a relationship ends and especially when that ending is through the choice of one person and not the other. To some extent it remains the obligation of the person who makes that choice to extend aftercare support in a form agreeable to the person who has not made that choice until they have reached a point where they feel emotionally less devastated or more able to cope with the changed aspects of their life. In these days of acrimonious breakups it is common to act without dignity or respect for yourself and for the person whom you have engaged in a serious relationship with. This type of attack damages everyone involved and is seldom decent but most often reflects cowardly and selfish actions.

-F.R.R. Mallory - Steel Door