Abuse vs BDSM

S&M vs Abuse

The key difference between S&M and Abuse is consent.

* Consent = Is an agreed approval of what is done and/or proposed by another.
* Abuse = to use so as to injure or damage.

S&M * Is based on the safe, sane, consensual or risk-aware consensual kink theory * S&M is a controlled environment * S&M has safe words to stop the scene * In a S&M scene the dominant looks out for the well being of the submissive * S&M can be an erotic sexual encounter * In S&M both partners are enjoying themselves * in S&M the dominant respects limits * In S&M there is mutual respect * In S&M the relationship is fulfilling * In S&M both parties feel they contribute towards the relationships * In S&M one can ask their partner to "play" * In S&M relationship there is trust * In S&M a submissive voluntarily serves the dominant * S&M is about building trust * S&M builds self esteem * S&M builds the spirit of a submissive

Abuse * Abuse is not negotiated * Abuse is an out of control environment * Abuse does not have safe words * An abuser does not give a damn about the victim * Abuse is always one sided * Abuse is never negotiated. * In abuse, no one is enjoying the results * The abuser is into non consensual violence * The victim has no respect towards the abuser * In abuse the victim is harmed * In abuse both parties are left unfulfilled * The abuser always feel they are superior * A person does not ask for abuse * In an abusive relationship there is no trust * The abuser does not care for consent * Abuse has no trust * Abuse destroys self esteem * An abuser destroys the spirit of the victim

Dominants:  * A sub may be in subspace and not have the presence to stop the scene. * "Recalling," also known as "Flashbacks." Example of this can be, a sub who was raped years ago, and during a humiliation scene, has a recall of that traumatic moment. Know your sub. * Always clean your toys. Do not use the same toys without using condoms each time. Wash the toys after each use. Do not use same sex toys during multiple partner scenes without changing condoms. * Always use common sense. You are playing with a human being who has given you the gift of trust. Don't abuse that trust. * Reputation takes a lifetime to earn, yet a second to lose.  Don't ruin someone's life for a moment of gratification,