smiles

From glamour.com, but I found it through Happy BDSM! Check out that blog, it's awesome. So many happy, smiley faces from kinksters enjoying their play. Lovely. :)

clamped nipples

Lovely expression. :)

From i honor her.

Service

Service.

I love service.

I am a sadist. During sex, I switch. I enjoy bottoming for that as well as for the occasional flogging or what-have-you, usually a thuddy implement. I'm primarily a top. I'm also a dominant.

I used to find dominance to be absolutely exhausting.

To stay in the frame of mind where I am the Master, I must be in control, I must be strict and cruel and creative and completely in charge, as well as kind and merciful and loving is hard for me. I prefer to be a creative sadist. I'm very hands on and when it comes to more emotional or mental scenes, I tend to get tired pretty quickly and revert to my sadistic self, since I'm a more physical person.

Which I'm sure is a bit frustrating for my boy, who is not only a wonderfully tough maso (our pet name for masochists) but also very submissive. He needs submission to be able to get himself together somedays. Just like we both need a good kicking-the-shit-out-of-him scene when we haven't played for awhile. Most kinksters will agree it's a major stress-relief.

So, while I find dominance to be exhausting, especially when I was first stepping into the role (back when I had no idea what a sadist even was) I find the idea of service to be totally liberating. I can focus on my needs and without putting much creative thought into it, this fulfills the needs of my submissive. I can ask for food, drink, massage, attention. Even me saying 'pet meeee!' is demanding a bit of service, albeit in the whiniest voice possible.

I've asked for essays, for writing, for art, for pedicures. I've asked for much more creative things, too, but I find the little things are easiest to do and they add into bigger things.

The big D/s scenes are more fun this way, though we haven't done one in awhile. I find it's easier if I break it down into little things. Boot worship, maybe throw in some sadism there, add a bit of body worship, orgasm control, bondage...

I admit, I used to panic when I stepped into my D/s role. My brain would immediately rush from idea to idea and the scene would turn into a jumble. I'd threaten him with certain things and never follow through. I'd forget what I was doing and confuse him completely when I asked for several things at once. Note to self (and other D-types who have this problem); be clear when you're instructing someone. They can't read your mind and they really want to make you happy.

It's taken some time, but now that we're here, I find that I really enjoy having a butler as much as I enjoy having a maso. I love having him 'run the household'. Though a lot of people on the outside of our relationship have commented on how T seems to run everything and be in charge, the duty of a butler is to keep everything running and to make sure their master doesn't have to.

And really, I'd be awful at taking care of a wine cellar (not that we have one).

Not everyone who is submissive is good at service, or wants to be. It takes dedication, love, a stubborn perfectionism and eye for detail. I only wish I could be more the Master my boy deserves. <3

Sex

Another eye-catcher from Real Dominant Women.

I admit, I had to post this one because her hair reminds me of Andromeda's hair from my earlier post. That is some amazing hair!

Also, though this blog is about sex as well as kink, bdsm, etc, it's pretty rare that I post pictures of penetrative sex, especially with a straight couple. It certainly used to squick me, as a gender-unhappy kinky person who is usually seen as lady-shaped, but I also didn't want this blog to be seen as porn. Yes, it's certainly porny and sexy and full of wank-fodder, but having vanilla-ish sex posted often or even at all just sat wrong with me. But to be uncomfortable by something consensual and lovely (like this photo) is kind of silly, so we might be getting more photos of penetrative, vaginal sex.

So, here, have some sex; a lovely female top using her handcuffed boy to get herself off.

PS, Real Dominant Women, I really like a lot of your photos, but your name makes me think of 'the ONE TWUE WAY' and makes me giggle/sad.

Andromeda

Andromeda by Gustave Doré.

Andromeda was chained to a rock as a sacrifice to a sea monster (which you can see in the bottom left, if you stop staring at the naked lady) because of her mother's bragging. Oh, mythology, you're so kinky.

This is why I started painting. Not because of this painting specifically, but because this is how I wanted to be able to paint.

Ambiguous

From My Darker Side.

I both like and dislike this photo. I like that he's holding her hair, that she's got a cigarette and that her body language is just so relaxed. I'm sort of 50/50 on the bracelet he's wearing. A lot of people mix the goth style into kink and I'm meh about that. But as sensation play, those spikes could be a lot of fun, so I'm all for that side of it.

I like him grabbing her, but both his hands seem so tense. That might just be the amount of pressure he's using to pull/squeeze, but it doesn't look comfortable. Part of what I've learned about bdsm is that the top should be worried about pulling a muscle as much as they should be worried about hurting their bottom. Play comfortably or be prepared to hurt yourself.

The part I have the most issue with... is that I can't see their faces. Though this is a lovely photo, it could be completely one way or the other just by the expressions that we can't see. Is she bored? Is he angry?

I like being able to see happy people playing, and I can't read their body language well enough to say 'wow, these people are so happy together, grabbing and being grabbed. That's awesome'.

Sweet little pinch

Oooo.

I'm not usually into shaved lady-parts, but this is a pretty awesome photo.

From Cyanide Mishka.

Enjoyment

Some Sherlock and Watson fun from Tabby Stardust along with a very nice secret from male submission art. This is something that drives me crazy too. BDSM porn where the actors/characters are forced into it squicks me. I want to scream red for the person and go get them a juice box and a blanket. Consensual nonconsent is wonderful, but if I can't see the consensual part of it, I get bad feelings about the whole thing and I end up being sad instead of being able to enjoy my porn.

Fanfiction also has a lot of 'no, don't tie me up, it's humiliating', but I can find ones I like more easily. And I like writing it too, so even better.

appealing objects

All of these are from Alexander.

I would love to see things like this more often on sites like fetlife. If you're into kink and you're looking to attract a dominant/top/whatever and one of your interests is objectification, why not post a photo of it? I think that would be much better received than a picture of, oh, say, your penis.

Lovely work from a great model. Very creative, different poses to be a table of different heights.

Great stuff!

Happy and blindfolded

Happiest blindfolding ever!

I love pictures of happy people doing happy, cute bdsm things together. You don't always have to look stern and tough and angry when you blindfold people. That's fine for scenes and certain kinds of play, but sometimes it's nice to roll around and play and giggle and be happy that you can enjoy this together.

From My Darker Side.

held

A gorgeous photo from i honor her.

I'm not sure if this is breath play, or just a very possessive hug, but the atmosphere is so calm and soft. I don't usually care about full frontal nudity in art, but it's interesting to see a picture of two naked people touching without actually seeing their genitals or breasts.

Device and tease

Is it really strange that the whole reason I'm posting this picture of a lovely lady in bondage begging for someone's cock is that I really, really like the metal bondage she's wearing?

Look at those! So cool!

From Passius.

Butchness/selfness

I used to hate the word butch.

When I was younger, it was always such a taunt. As I've posted before, I was often teased for being masculine and as I'd been brought up with society's views of how little girls should think, act and look, I thought being masculine - being butch- was an awful thing.

I also rebelled at being feminine. I hated wearing dresses, I refused to shave my legs for a long time and whenever we played pretend, I was a boy.

When I got to be about 21 or so, I began to come to terms with my butchness. I was getting fatter, I had my head half shaved and I really, really loved being male to my partner. I don't present as male most of the time. It's not something I'm ready to do. But if I couldn't be my masculine, butch self with my boy, I doubt I'd be as sane as I am. I've been a boy in my relationships since I was sixteen, which is part of the reason I started dating girls. None of the boys I was interested in understood that, but girls, especially 16 year old bi or curious ones, tended not to care what gender I presented as in private.

Still, I've only just started to realize how much my image of myself is of this butch person. When my hair was long, I was pretty. And I appreciated it. But it felt like I was appreciating someone else. 'Oh, she's pretty. Definitely not me, but pretty,' was about all I felt about it.

Now that my hair is buzzed on the sides again, I feel so much more at home. Which is an odd feeling. Apparently I need to be able to see my scalp in order to feel like myself.

I would be sad if I were not the fat, butch, hairy, half-shaved head person that I am.

Fuck labels, really. I'm a lot of things. Several of them are contradictions. That's okay. I'm me.

Wheelchair Worship

From Lab Coat Lingerie.

When this picture was taken, I had barely begun adulthood and I thought my life was over.  I was twenty-one.  Many of my health conditions were undiagnosed or untreated.  I was sick.  I was tired.  I wanted to think of myself as strong, but I was just a kid who was lost and confused because my body was breaking.  I felt isolated from my friends, who couldn’t understand what I was going through.  I couldn’t take care of myself very well.  I was so tired that getting out of bed took a huge effort.  If I wanted to go somewhere farther than my apartment, I had to use a power chair.

I have never felt less sexy than when I was in my wheelchair.

My chair is not sexy.  It is upholstered in a color I can only describe as “medical gray,” a color that says “I have zero personality.”  It is a color that says “I am functional and not sexy, because why on earth would I need to be sexy?”  The plastic of the chair is red, but not a “fuck me” red.  It is not a red that evokes any sort of lust or hints at any secret desire.  It is a “we needed to make this a customizable, so you have a choice of red or blue, isn’t that nice” red.  The chair as a whole is bulky and not especially well-designed for comfort.  Form, I suspect, was not a factor in its design.  It is simple, but inelegant, minimalist only insofar as it has few features.  It is almost purely designed for the function of getting from point A to point B, and, truthfully, not very well even for that.

Disabled sexuality is virtually erased in our society.  People with disabilities are, at best, considered nonsexual, entirely lacking in sexual identity.  At worst, we are seen as perverts merely for having sexual desires.  And we are, above all, undesirable. The aesthetic of my power chair reflects this–why bother make something sexy when the person using it isn’t going to be having sex?

There is a difference between impairment and disability.  To borrow a definition from Stacey Milbern, “impairment is the reality of what your body is able to do, and disability is what society disallows your body to do because it has an impairment.”  I have a degenerative illness.  Whether I am in a wheelchair or not, my body is impaired.  Pain and fatigue are not perceivable by the naked eye.  But once I sit in my wheelchair, my disability becomes visible and I can no longer  “pass” for able-bodied.  When I sit in my wheelchair, the status of my disability does not change, but the way society views me does.  Suddenly I am an object of pity rather than desire.  When I roll down the street, people avert their eyes.

I don’t want people to see “past” my disability.  I want them to see me as a whole person, including my impairments.  I have fucked someone in my wheelchair.  (I have fucked a couple of someones in my wheelchair, actually, I mean, not to brag or anything.)  It was physically awkward and uncomfortable, and also? incredibly hot, because I was living out this idea, that my illness is a part of who I am, deserving of love, just like the rest of me.  I also tended to dress more provocatively when using my chair for a similar reason–I wanted to forcibly turn people’s eyes toward me, to demand from them the desire that I knew I deserved.

The photo at the beginning of this post is one of the oldest sexy pictures I have of myself.  I took it to make a point.  I wanted to confront people with their preconceptions about disability and desirability.  With this picture, I wanted to do what social norms prevented me from doing, to scream, “Look at me!  SEE me.  Recognize me as who I am, a sexual being!”

I no longer use my powerchair.  I still have it, but I am on a combination of medications that render it unnecessary, at least for the moment.  I do still use a manual wheelchair in certain circumstances.  I dream of the day when pushing my wheelchair is seen as a service, not a chore.  Some day sleek, sexy wheelchairs will be the norm.  Some day someone will worship my wheelchair, and me, in my wheelchair.  When that day comes, I will sit as in a throne, and I will be powerful and broken and beautiful and whole.

**

I really have nothing to add to this entry from Lab Coat Lingerie, except that I felt it was important to share it. 

Double caning

Two couples enjoy some caning together. I love that the ladies are wound up for some dramatic strikes and I love the masochist in the front. Look at that pose! He's begging for more, ass in the air, pushed back as far as he can go so she has better access. His mouth is open in a yell of some kind (probably happy, judging by the position) and his cock is hard.

Even though I'm not a fan of tops wearing heels and corsets, I do like the naked top and I really enjoy this piece.

From Otto's Spanking Art.