Treats for the Strange

Welcome to Treats for the Strange. I update erratically, whenever I feel the need to share something in my very pansexual collection.

Treats for the Strange is for anyone with a love of sexuality, art and kink.

Welcome.

Connection and happiness

Her smile! I love this! There's nothing better than a top smiling their face off because they're amazed by their bottom. I find this happening during edge play, where I realize that my boy can go as far as I can take him. I realize that we're connected in a way that so few people are. It's an amazing feeling.

Red rope art

I love the way the rope is drawn in this picture. And the fact that there are imperfections in the bondage (the ropes on the right leg are different from the ropes on the left). It makes it so much more realistic. Also, the positioning of his arms and the ropes around his tattoo is lovely. This is a great piece.

Art by Araihime.

Chest harness

Some lovely rope bondage photography from Hikari Kesho.

Possession through piercing

This picture is from Koushoku.

I love the idea of ownership marks (if you haven't noticed). My wife has several permanent scars from me as well as a nipple piercing.

This is why I enjoyed the manga/anime Loveless. It was before I really knew what bdsm was, or why I liked it. I knew I loved the idea of possession and permanent marks to show ownership. I just wasn't sure why.
And this picture is from the Loveless anime.

The boy who's being pierced says something wonderful during this scene: 'The pain will be the evidence of a bond between us... When I see it, I will remember you."

*happy*

Rice

Kneeling on rice! So cruel. So painful. So wonderful. Also, interesting looking bondage.

Cameo collar

A lace and leather collar with a beautiful cameo and o-rings on the side. I wish there was a better picture of this, but I'm still quite in love.

Wouldn't this be perfect for one of those frilly maid outfits? >.>

From Decadent Transitions.

Orange is the new black

Part of the reason I like this picture so much is the fact that she's wearing orange. So often you see top-folk in black or red or other suitably 'dominant' colours, but orange? Never! That's why this is awesome.

For once, I don't dislike the heels. They're really tall and her legs look awesome. And I bet they'd feel great on his back of she stepped on him.

Leashes dangling

A sweet little bottom, bound to the ceiling. Art by Luctem. I like this leash system, with them attached to the ceiling. I like her little harness and gloves.

Simple service

A nude boy carries a bottle of wine and two glasses on a tray. I love pictures like this. Service can be so simple, or so elaborate. It's obvious he's focusing on keeping the tray steady. It's such a wonderful way to show your love and willingness to submit and to make your top happy.

Also, I could go for a glass of white wine.

Photo from Artastic Avenjer.

Mentor

I have an issue with this picture, (don't I always? I'm so picky!) it's also kind of heart warming. It kind of reminds me of myself and my mentor, with a stunt-bottom friend of ours. We spanked her together at Taboo, one cheek for each of us, and it was one of the most intimate and fun things we've done together. Afterwards she was purple (though more purple on his side, of course, hopefully one day I'll be able to spank like him) and I was so happy to have shared that with him.

The issue I have with the art are very simple; the top woman's boots. Dominance and boots are not the same thing and women wearing heels while in a dominant position often irks me. One would never expect a male dominant to wear heels. The only reason I like heels when I'm playing (rare) is because it makes me taller and height/size difference is a serious kink for me.

But if I ignore the boots, it looks like she's wearing dress pants. I really like that you can't see any faces or expressions in this picture.

From Fetish Popculture.

Cuffed in gloves

A beauty of a photograph from a blog I stumbled across awhile ago, Dominance and Submission. The model is really lovely, and I've always had a bit of a lust for opera gloves and really pretty boys. Combining the two just makes them both better!

My take on the BDSM in Girls with Slingshots II

I am very happy with the conclusion of this chapter of GWS. She doesn't hit him once, she just puts him in the position and lets his imagination take him where it will (as well as yelling at him). 


 He safewords...
 And she does some decent aftercare, even though they didn't 'play' in a way that most people would consider playing. She sits him down, gives him a blanket and some comfort... it's awesome. Yay for aftercare being shown in art as well as in a comic! Hats off to Danielle Corsetto!
One little quirk here, Clarice is looking for someone who enjoys being dominated as well as a masochist. Though I don't generally label people, she's a fictional character so she can't take offense, so I'll go for it. I'd say that Clarice is more of a sadist than a dominant. Even her domination in what we do see of her scenes is very sadistic and bent on humiliation and pain rather than simple control.

Anyhow, I'm happy and I'm glad I got to rant about random specific things.

I really don't pity Tucker. But I do pity Clarice! I know several dominant women who find it impossible to find a partner who's actually up to their standards, not just as a submissive or masochist, but as a human being. *lesigh*

Now, go check out Girls With Slingshots!

My take on the BDSM in Girls with Slingshots

Alright, let me preface this whole semi-rant of mine by saying that I really love the comic Girls With Slingshots. It deals with a lot of things that are relevant to me. Unemployment, coming out, round ladies being sexy and amazing rather than just round, cactuses, lesbian relationships and dildos. The art is great, the characters are surprising and the jokes are funny. I've been following it daily since I stumbled across it about a year ago. I don't expect my comments and thoughts to change the story or to influence the artist in any way, this is a rant for the sake of ranting.

Also, I am not a professional domme. I do not live their lives, I do not want to. I am into bdsm purely for my own enjoyment and happiness, as well as the enjoyment and happiness of my boy. 

With that said, and kept in mind, the new story line, involving Clarice who is a librarian/pro domme and Tucker, who finds out about her secret interests, is making me cringe a bit.


 I do wonder what's on that waiver. Unfortunately, it can't be a negotiation, since she's not reading it. Also, the fact that her outfit has a sort of built in collar makes me sigh. So many people wear collars to bdsm events (or master's caps, or boy caps, etc) without realizing what they signify. People hang things on their belts, not realizing that if you put it on one side or the other, it means something specific (for example 'please hit me with this' or 'I'd enjoy handcuffing you'.

"To answer a common question, no, I’ve never had hands-on (hah) experience with the BDSM lifestyle. But I’ve done an ass-ton of research at this point, entirely from those who live in the lifestyle, both subs and doms, including two awesome friends of mine who used to run a BDSM bed & breakfast. Yes, seriously.

So, to those of you in the lifestyle, I’m happy to hear your thoughts if I’m doing something completely wrong! I don’t want to blatantly misrepresent your culture. Otherwise, please let your imagination run wild, and remember that Clarice and the rest of the cast live in a fantasy world.

A fantasy world with a talking cactus and the ghost of a stillborn kitten."

I realize that this is a fantasy world and that perhaps bdsm folk in this world are also pro dommes and make money at what they enjoy... but as someone who lives in the real world of bdsm, I can rant. 

My problem with what has been said here is that she's talking about those of us who live this lifestyle. '...entirely from those who live in the lifestyle...' '...to those of you in the lifestyle...' when I consider pro dommes to be outside of the lifestyle/community. For the most part, bdsm is something they do for work, which means they don't generally take their play outside of work. They don't play by the same rules, nor do they have the same expectations as most kinky folk. There are always exceptions, of course.

As someone who is putting on a show, as well as someone who's being blackmailed into this (read the comic to understand the background), I can see why Clarice is pissed off. It makes for a good show and she's actually feeling that way too. But he is so shiny and new that he squeaks. If this were the real world, I'd say she should be giving him the safeword, not waiting for him to ask. So far, he doesn't seem terribly consenting, and to me, bdsm is all about consent. That's really all that separates it from abuse.

It's always possible he's playing the victim, which a lot of bottoms do (that way they don't actually want it, you've forced them into it, therefore it's okay, since they feel guilty for wanting 'naughty' things), but it's difficult to tell and non-consensual play is never a good idea. 

The one thing that has upset me the most about this is the anger that Clarice is showing here. Some top folk like to feign anger when they play, but Clarice seems to have genuine (if fictional) anger. Playing angry is a really good way for someone to get hurt. There is already the possible issue of top space turning angry or violent, adding anger or hurt to that is like adding dynamite to a fire. 

Some people might say that in these panels, Tucker should speak up, should tell her to go slower or that he isn't interested in bondage, or whatever it is that he needs to say. Though I agree, I think he should speak up, I also think that she should stop and listen and actually have a consensual arrangement going on. She is just as much at fault, if not more so, for any harm that may occur.


Also, before a scene it is customary to negotiate. I realize that this is a comic and things get skipped, but this is one of the things that drives me crazy about people who are new to bdsm and coming out to the scene. 

They expect that things will be the way they are in porn or cartoons or comics or fantasy novels. I've had strangers ask me to tie them up and beat them. I've had them ask me if they have to submit if they come to a party. I've had them ask me to swing with them, to have sex with them, to dominate them, to submit to them and if I'll let them borrow my wife. The answer to all these questions has been no. Which has surprised them, every time. The bdsm scene is full of real people in real relationships and generally, it is not okay to ask such an intimate question without getting to know if they're taken, if they're into that or how they identify. (PS- Asking a sadist if she'll submit to you is not a good idea.)

Back to negotiation. Before any sort of scene, the people involved usually negotiate, especially if one of them is new. Negotiation usually includes what is okay, what is not okay and what is really not okay. It's customary (and a really good idea) to ask about health problems. If you end up playing hard with someone with a bad back and they can't move tomorrow, shame on you. If you end up playing hard with someone with a bad heart and they end up dying on you, it's a bit worse than shame. One generally asks what has been tried before, what is going on for this scene, if they have another partner, what the limits are and what the safeword(s) are. 

No one wants a trip to emergency and having to explain the rope marks or the welts. Our lifestyle, especially the SM part of it, is considered illegal (at least here in Canada) because it's difficult to tell the difference between consensual and non-consensual play.

One thing that I did approve of, however, was this part. I can't even count the amount of times I've been called 'Miss' or 'Mistress' or 'Ma'am' or 'Lady' or 'Goddess', etc, etc by a total stranger. I've often felt like exploding on them with 'NO!  Do NOT call me MISTRESS!'. Also, possibly some expletives and 'WOULD YOU CALL A STRANGER MISTRESS ON THE STREET?! NO!? WHY DO IT TO ME?! GARRGKHLRRR!! *choking noises*'

Again, I think this comes from watching porn and finding your interest in bdsm through fantasy. Calling a dominant, be they male or female, single or otherwise, any sort of honorific before having even spoken to them of playing is highly insulting. The only dominants that I've ever met that would enjoy that are people that I find unsettling. To call someone 'Mistress' (just for example, there are hundreds of titles I could have chosen) is a highly personal thing. You should only call someone Mistress if you are in a relationship with that person and have already spoken about how to address them respectfully.

This goes the other way too. If someone is new on the scene and demands that random strangers call them 'Ma'am' or 'Sir' or whatever, you can tell them no. They can't involve you in their protocol without your consent and that's a serious faux-pas.

Generally, kinksters don't have a formal etiquette when they meet. We're a varied bunch. Some of us are just fetishists, some of us play on the weekends, some of us live it 24/7, some of us are into D/s, some of us are no holds barred SM players. The only rule that I would say exists (or should exist) for the 'lifestyle' or community, is the rule of respect. You do not involve people in play without consent, even if it's as simple as asking someone to call you 'sir' or calling someone 'sir' without asking.

I will update more as more comics are made.

Tea Service

A well-dressed man carries a tray with a teapot and teacups through a hedge garden.

I love tea service. I'm not always a terribly decisive dominant and I know sometimes that drives my boy insane, since he doesn't know what I want and therefore can't really serve me... but sometimes I'll say 'I dunno... maybe' to tea and he'll just make it for me and serve me. It's wonderful.

One day, we'll do tea service in formal wear. I hope to start doing it in kinky groups, but I'm afraid we probably can't do that yet. I don't have the energy to organize anything alone right now and everyone who usually helps me out is busy with their own things.  Ah well, hopefully something will change.

Part of nature

I love the colors of this one! The talented Hikari Kesho has made my jaw drop once again.

I think it would be nice to hang above the water like that, as long as the ropes were comfortable.

I seem to like this suspension pose, as you can see by the post beneath this one. :P
Stunning art from i Honor Her. I believe the title for this one was 'Even when I'm beneath you, I'm on top'. Sweet art. I love their smiles and the intimacy between them. Very cute.

dressed to kill

Though it does drive me crazy to see women objectified as 'mistresses', I also understand the appeal of dressing up to feel sexy and to get you in the mood. I usually dress up in a more masculine way, but if I was more feminine, I might put on some stockings and heels.

What I really liked about this photo, besides it making me admit that I like to dress up even while I hate the idea of dressed up female tops... is the angle of the shot. I wish I knew anything about photography so I could explain why I like it... but I don't. I'll leave it at 'I like it!'.

From Men in Pain.

Some gender thoughts


Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my gender.

I’ve been labeled as female my entire life. I was ridiculed when I was younger for being masculine, for having body hair, for not acting the way girls ‘should act’. My school life was hell when I was young and I withdrew. For a few years I hyper feminized, wore tight clothes to show off my body, wore stereotypically feminine colors, dated boys… still, I was treated like one of the boys with my closest friends (who were at the time almost all boys).

I was envious of my best friend, who was leggy and pale and looked like a model. At the same time, I was envious of the boys, because no one really seemed to give a shit if they were pretty and I really didn’t want people to care if I was pretty. Unfortunately society wants women to care and I’m still trying to shake loose the ideas that seem to be planted in my brain about beauty as well as gender.

Anyway, I’ve been realizing lately that I am not a woman. I’ve tried to label myself that, I’ve tried lots of different labels. I finally came out, but calling myself a lesbian didn’t work either. And I was still attracted to men, but they didn’t find me attractive because I was a man, or because I was the one in charge or for being intelligent and interesting or for any of the reasons I wanted to be found attractive. They found me attractive because I was girl-shaped.

The women that I started to date when I came out found me attractive because of who I was and what I had to offer (besides and including my body). With the exception of one of them, who was experimenting and didn’t care who she slept with. The person I’m married to wasn’t attracted to me because I was girl-shaped, she fell in love with me because of who I was and how compatible we were.
The best part about me starting to understand my gender is that my wife and I have both started realizing that we’re attracted to each other as men. 

I don’t know if I want to take hormones yet, I don’t know if that decision can be made for a few years. I’m pretty sure I don’t want or need surgery. I still like my body. Sometimes my breasts drive me crazy and I wish they would disappear, but chest binding helps with that and so does a bra. Though other times the bra or chest binder makes it worse and then I feel like some horrible freak of nature. Is that what gender dysphoria feels like?

Sometimes I wish I could have a penis besides my strap-on, but I have a phantom cock and I can feel that fine.

I’m not sure what I should call myself, or even if that’s important. Both my wife and I identify as male, or at least mostly male.  Yes, I’ll call him/her my wife even if he/she does end up transitioning fully and wants me to start using male pronouns. I wouldn’t find it hard to switch over, I already call her my man, my boy. Whenever we’re together privately we’re both male.

I think we just can’t come out yet. This is much more nerve-wracking than when I came out as gay.  I don’t even feel I can tell our closest friends. They’re pro-trans, pro-gay, pro-everything, but I don’t know if they’d get non-op gender reversal. They mean well, but they still have some transphobia engrained in their minds. They still consider passing to be very important. I get that it’s important to some transfolk, but honestly, I still feel comfortable being called ‘her’ and ‘she’. 

Though I do love it when people in stores or restaurants mistake me for male and call me ‘sir’.

I just needed to get this off my chest. I don’t know what to do or say, even what to think. Sometimes I wish gender was as simple as people love to believe it is. 

Strange's gender meme



I am evolving.

bound in yarn

This is one of the most beautiful bondage paintings I have ever seen.

From the wonderful Frog.

Combat

I've wished for awhile that I was larger and stronger (or my boy was smaller and lighter) so that I could physically lift him. That sort of physical dominance is secondary to me, but it's still amazing for certain scenes. Having that kind of control over their entire body is great.

The only way I can lift her is in a fireman's hold, over my shoulder (which lasts maybe 30 seconds before I collapse) or in a piggyback.

From Naked Kombat.

Sweet little table

Pretty red leather bindings and a pretty woman who's been turned into a table. I wonder how the glass is staying on her back? I'd be afraid of it falling. I can see something under it, but I can't really tell what it is.

Very pretty ankle and wrist cuffs, though. It's always nice to see something colorful. I met a boy with a lime green collar awhile ago and I fell in love with it just because it was so unusual! I won't even mention how cute the boy attached to it was, haha.

Anyway, the photo is from Onyx Cage.

Chains

A lovely boy sits on the side of a pool in chains. Art by Raeraesama.

Scars and ropes

Pretty...

No, I have no intelligent comment to go here. I'll just be ogling this picture for awhile, so I thought I'd share the joy.

Art from Pluto.

kept on a belt

An absolutely gorgeous photo of a dominant woman with her submissive boy. I love his expression, like he's trying not to beg for a kiss. And the belt used as a collar and leash? Great.

Boot licker

A bottom licks his top's boot clean. *happy*

I miss having leather boots. A good stepping, kicking, boot worship always made me feel better.

From Bound Gods.

pony


More ponygirls from Luctem.

Two knotty boys - head cage

 From the middle of your rope, measure from the chin to the bridge of the nose.
Where you've measured, tie a double coin knot.


Now measure from the bridge of the nose to the crown of the head.

Tie another double coin knot.
 Pull the rope down along towards the mouth. 
Wind it several times until it reaches the chin. 
Pull it back from there and make another double coin knot on the back of the neck.

Pull it under the rope as shown

Tie it off, tightening the head cage.

And there you have it. After you master the double coin knot, this isn't too difficult, as long as you have thinnish rope.

Isn't it lovely?

The joy of loving what you do

A gem from Women with Whips. I love this photo because these are real people who are enjoying themselves. I love a lot of pictures of models or people who aren't into kink except for photos, etc... but they'll never have the same depth as these kinds of pictures.

The woman is genuinely grinning, no 'dominant glare' going on, no 'I don't care' look. She's wearing boots, jeans and a sweaty grey shirt. They have no toys, she's only using her hands. He's bent over her, holding onto her leg to help keep himself up. He's wearing nothing but sandals. She has redeye and the photo isn't posed whatsoever. And I love it to bits.

What do I love most about this picture? She's holding him close to her while she spanks him. She's touching him in an affectionate, non-sexual, non-sadistic way with one hand while she spanks him with the other. That is exactly how I spank and exactly the way I was taught to spank by our mentor.

Cheers to this beautiful sadist and cheers to her boy. I am always thrilled to see pictures like this.

a nice walk in the yard

His lady sits after a walk, letting him rest. It's hard work walking that way! Very sweet art, nice to see some female dominance that doesn't involve the woman being naked. Though my boy and I usually play naked, there's also a very clear sense of power when the bottom is nude and the top is clothed.

I found this at femdom resource.

Statuesque

A beautiful, naked woman holding a lily on a short pillar. She's a beautiful statue, don't you think? This is a gorgeous representation of objectification.

The photographer is Hikari Kesho.

happy masochism

A woman pinches the nipples of a masochist who is clearly enjoying himself! Look at that grin! And body hair! I love seeing photos like this, where it's obviously people who are into SM because they like it, not as models or to make money.

Just looking at his smile makes me happy.

From a wonderful female dominant/male submissive blog, i honor her.

pulled

I like chain. And I think I really like black chain. Very pretty harness, as well.

From Dragon in London.